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I Could Live Here, I Could Die Here

by Fanfare

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1.
And I hate the rain now I haven't slept in weeks I'm still stuck in the same hell, doing the same things, same routine And the weight of all of the spaces in-between Well it's all pressing on my chest and I'm finding it hard to breathe Then you ask me, how I'm doing And I guess I'll lie again Cause I'm so dark And I'm not real And I can't feel, I have no part, I just conceal It's as dark in my room As it is in my head I guess that I'll stay in bed Because I'd rather be dead Now there's no hope left for me I'm so far from where I should be I've lost my friends and I've got no money And if you ever try to tell me just to brush it off then I'll never leave my house again, just so I don't have to see you Cause I'm so dark (And I'm not real) I'm so dark (And I'm not real) I'm so dark (And I'm not real)
2.
Hearing that phone call was the worst day of my life I know that you're feeling better but I've never felt alright I miss coming home to see you buried in the couch Something about those eyes and the smile on your mouth Starting every day will always feel wrong To wake up and know that you'll always be gone I've never felt more comfortable than with an arm around you I hope one day I wake up and the first thing I see is you Going on four years now and not a day goes by Where I don't think about how we should have shared more time
3.
And I'm not saying I'd hurt myself but I'm not exactly counting it out Cause I haven't slept in weeks or months and I haven't been eating near enough It's been a minute Since I felt anything Truth is I'm scared of everything Big dogs, the rain, the great outdoors and holding on to something more And I'm obsessed with a taste inside my mouth and all the things that make me feel the way I do And I know that I could and see exactly what becomes of me, but I need something now, yes I need something now The best parts of me are wrapped up in your head I'm bleeding out and I suppose I would be better off dead I'm growing numb from all the empty words that leave your lips So hold your tongue because you know that loose lips sink ships And we're all gonna die and we're all gonna die and we're all gonna die someday And I know I'm gonna die and I know I'm gonna die and I know I'm gonna die someday And I just don't feel as if I should have to feel the way that I do all the time I look around and think about all of the people and all of the lights It's growing dark inside my head and I just don't think I can do this again Cause I'm seven floors up and I'm six whole feet deep, covered in worms and dirt inside my head
4.
Warmth 03:02
I'm sinking you're standing I'm thinking you're feeling I'm nothing you've got me still aching still hurting And your blood, it boils under the light you ask me why almost every night I don't need your how or when and why I don't want you, I don't need you
5.
Take this for face value there's no hidden meaning I'm not sure you know about the way that I'm feeling I gave you some time so that you could keep healing I was your drug but you just kept dealing I was the rain but you were the sun that dried me up I was the blood but you were the heart that wouldn't pump You told me that you want to go back to August I'm sure that it's not the first time you thought this I cross my fingers and I hope that I can sleep without dreaming of you I cross my fingers and I hope to catch my breath and not waste it on you

credits

released January 11, 2019

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Patrick Williams and Joey Grammer of Barricade Collective at Jungle House. Thank you to the members of Jungle House for clapping on track 5. Thank you to Lilly Combs for the artwork.

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Fanfare Richmond, Virginia

A 4-piece rock band from Richmond, VA.

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