I Could Live Here, I Could Die Here

by Fanfare

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released January 11, 2019

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Patrick Williams and Joey Grammer of Barricade Collective at Jungle House. Thank you to the members of Jungle House for clapping on track 5. Thank you to Lilly Combs for the artwork.


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Fanfare Richmond, Virginia

Emo/Alternative band from Richmond, VA. Let us play your upstairs bathroom.

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Track Name: Spaces In-Between
And I hate the rain now
I haven't slept in weeks
I'm still stuck in the same hell, doing the same things, same routine
And the weight of all of the spaces in-between
Well it's all pressing on my chest and I'm finding it hard to breathe

Then you ask me, how I'm doing
And I guess I'll lie again

Cause I'm so dark
And I'm not real
And I can't feel, I have no part, I just conceal

It's as dark in my room
As it is in my head
I guess that I'll stay in bed
Because I'd rather be dead

Now there's no hope left for me
I'm so far from where I should be
I've lost my friends and I've got no money
And if you ever try to tell me just to brush it off then I'll never leave my house again, just so I don't have to see you

Cause I'm so dark
(And I'm not real)
I'm so dark
(And I'm not real)
I'm so dark
(And I'm not real)
Track Name: Car Guy Meets Horse Girl
Hearing that phone call was the worst day of my life
I know that you're feeling better but I've never felt alright
I miss coming home to see you buried in the couch
Something about those eyes and the smile on your mouth

Starting every day will always feel wrong
To wake up and know that you'll always be gone

I've never felt more comfortable than with an arm around you
I hope one day I wake up and the first thing I see is you
Going on four years now and not a day goes by
Where I don't think about how we should have shared more time
Track Name: Eight Grad Parties in Two Days
And I'm not saying I'd hurt myself
but I'm not exactly counting it out
Cause I haven't slept in weeks or months
and I haven't been eating near enough
It's been a minute
Since I felt anything
Truth is I'm scared of everything
Big dogs, the rain, the great outdoors
and holding on to something more

And I'm obsessed
with a taste inside my mouth and all the things that make me feel the way I do
And I know that I could and see exactly what becomes of me, but I need something now, yes I need something now

The best parts of me are wrapped up in your head
I'm bleeding out and I suppose I would be better off dead
I'm growing numb from all the empty words that leave your lips
So hold your tongue because you know that loose lips sink ships

And we're all gonna die
and we're all gonna die
and we're all gonna die someday

And I know I'm gonna die
and I know I'm gonna die
and I know I'm gonna die someday

And I just don't feel as if I should have to feel the way that I do all the time
I look around and think about all of the people and all of the lights
It's growing dark inside my head and I just don't think I can do this again
Cause I'm seven floors up and I'm six whole feet deep, covered in worms and dirt inside my head
Track Name: Warmth
I'm sinking
you're standing
I'm thinking
you're feeling
I'm nothing
you've got me
still aching
still hurting

And your blood, it boils under the light
you ask me why almost every night
I don't need your how or when and why
I don't want you, I don't need you
Track Name: Cross My Fingers
Take this for face value there's no hidden meaning
I'm not sure you know about the way that I'm feeling
I gave you some time so that you could keep healing
I was your drug but you just kept dealing

I was the rain but you were the sun that dried me up
I was the blood but you were the heart that wouldn't pump
You told me that you want to go back to August
I'm sure that it's not the first time you thought this

I cross my fingers and I hope that I can sleep without dreaming of you
I cross my fingers and I hope to catch my breath and not waste it on you

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